


Choke It Down

by Zero0



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College AU, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, Roommates to lovers, Shizaya - Freeform, Slow Burn, bed sharing, they're gonna get together i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 16:02:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16329152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zero0/pseuds/Zero0
Summary: Shizuo and Izaya are college students who hate each other with a burning passion, and yet, they're roommates. They only have one rule- no violence in the dorm. It works out pretty well, until some awful things start happening to them.





	Choke It Down

God, Shizuo was tired. He glanced down at his phone as he climbed the steps to the third floor of his dorm. It was only 11, but he felt like he’d been awake for three days. He was looking forward to getting to his room, changing, and passing out as soon as possible. There was only one possible thing that could ruin his plan. Izaya Orihara.

The room was dark when he finally unlocked the door. He shot his eyes over to his roommate’s bed. There was a human shaped outline laying in bed, indicating he was there but likely asleep. Shizuo let out a too loud sigh of relief. His roommate and he had a rather tumultuous relationship, to put it lightly. They hated each other. Shizuo was too strong, too impulsive. Izaya was too intelligent, too shady. The rest of the school knew them and their relationship well. Most of the time when they met on campus, it would end with them trying to kill each other. Shizuo would give chase, Izaya only barely slipping away.

Yet, somehow, they lived together. The university had randomly placed them together in the same dorm, as if the faculty had never heard of them. As if they didn’t know about the property damage Shizuo caused. The two men had begrudgingly swallowed their fates. They’d come to a silent agreement- that no matter how much they hated each other, they’d at least make an attempt to keep it out of their room. They didn’t talk much, or even make eye contact in there. Even Izaya seemed to make a valid attempt at choking down his sarcastic comments, so long as they were in Oring Hall, room 324.

But, right now, all Shizuo could think about was sleep. He peeled off his shirt and pants, absentmindedly throwing them near his laundry basket on the floor. He checked his phone one last time before moving toward his bed for the evening. 

“Shizu-chan?” A small voice called out from the other side of the room. The sound of blankets shifting as Izaya sat up sounded loud in the quiet, dark room. Shizuo rubbed the heel of his hand against his eye.

“What?” he replied, unable to keep his annoyance from seeping into his tone.

“Come here,” came the reply out of the darkness. Shizuo finally allowed himself to turn around and look in his direction. Even through the thick blanket of darkness, something seemed wrong. Izaya was sitting at an odd angle, even for him. And he seemed to be moving his hands together in a repetitive pattern.

“Why, so you can stab me with the knife you keep under your pillow? Look, I’m really not in the mood right now…,” he warned, carding his hands through his hair. He was hoping his tone contained enough venom to get the smaller man to give up for the night. He really didn’t have the energy to deal with snarky insults. He could feel the last of it fading away. 

“Shizuo…” Izaya absolutely never said his name. Not properly, anyway. It was always some kind of insult or mocking nickname. Shizuo’s brain was short circuiting. He really didn’t have the energy to properly process what was happening. He took the two steps over to the edge of his roommate’s bed. His whole body felt heavy.

“What do you want, parasite?” He grumbled in a low tone. He was hoping he sounded more intimidating than he really did, but he must have looked pretty pathetic because Izaya reached his hand out and brushed his fingers against Shizuo’s wrist.

“Lay with me.” It sounded like a cross between a command and a question. Uneasy, and missing all of Izaya’s usual sing-songy sarcasm. Shizuo halfheartedly yanked his arm away and rolled his eyes. He turned back around.

“Look, I’m fucking exhausted. I had a long ass day. I don’t have the energy to play your stupid game tonight. I just want to sleep.”

“Then just… we’ll sleep.” Shizuo pretended he couldn’t hear the desperation in his voice. Izaya had absolutely never sounded like this before. Something wasn’t right, but Shizuo couldn’t put his finger on it. He couldn’t think too clearly anymore. “Please.”

Shizuo rubbed at his eyes again, running out of the last of his willpower to put up a fight. He breathed an almost inaudible “fine” under his breath and stepped over to his side of the room, grabbing a loose shirt to pull over his head. He then turned back to Izaya’s bed, yanking the covers back and motioning the other man to scoot over.

He couldn’t believe what he was doing. Maybe if he wasn’t already half asleep, he’d be more worried about why Izaya sounded wrong. Maybe he’d be more worried about being dismembered in his sleep. 

He pulled himself up into onto the shitty dorm mattress. It was clearly not made for two people. They couldn’t have left space between them if they wanted to. Izaya immediately gravitated toward Shizuo, pushing his head into the space between Shizuo’s left shoulder and his chest. Shizuo had completely given up, wrapping his arm around him and resting his hand on the small of his back. It felt weird.

“You’re warm,” Shizuo said. Even after only a few seconds of contact, Shizuo’s side was burning. “Like, you’re hot. Why are you so hot? Are you sick? Are you just trying to get me sick? Ugh, gross.” He made to pull away.

“I’m not sick.” Izaya’s voice was low and dark. Deadly serious. Shizuo just let out an exasperated sigh and settled back in, letting his worst enemy press into his side like some kind of heat compress.

“Fine, whatever. Just go the fuck to sleep,” he mumbled. He could feel Izaya nodding against him. He didn’t last much longer than that. His eyes and limbs felt so heavy, he didn’t care who was pressing up against him. He drifted off into a deep, hot, dreamless sleep.

He woke up before his alarm the next morning. He felt more well rested than he had in months. Slowly, his thoughts returned to him, and he remembered the previous night. He and Izaya had completely entangled during the night. They were on their sides, facing each other, legs threaded in between each other. Shizuo’s face was pressed into Izaya’s black hair, with his roommate’s face buried in his collar bone. Izaya was still asleep. Somehow, it didn’t feel weird like it had last night. Izaya felt cooler.

Izaya woke up as Shizuo did, slowly. Neither of them moved from their current position. Neither of them seemed to mind the other’s silent company. Shizuo had to admit, if he closed his eyes and pretended that the person in his arms was anyone else, it felt nice. His left hand was ghosting around them hem of Izaya’s shirt, and it was disturbingly tempting to slip it underneath his shirt to press against the vast amount of skin on his back. 

“Morning, Shizu-chan,” Izaya said. His voice sounded normal, but he still hadn’t moved. Maybe neither of them were willing to spoil the moment. As if one movement would ruin everything. But, Shizuo’s arm was going numb, so what the hell. He lowered his hand, pressing lightly against Izaya’s hip, directing him.

“Here, switch me sides,” he mumbled. Somehow, Izaya didn’t give off a snarky remark in response. He simply climbed up onto his palms and slid over Shizuo’s body, resting on the exact same place on his right side. “...Thanks.”

More silence passed between them. Shizuo saw Izaya’s cell phone next to the pillow, so he grabbed it, lighting up the lock screen and displaying the time. It was only 8am. Izaya shot him an unnecessarily dirty glare for touching his phone. Shizuo didn’t know a lot about what Izaya did for money, but he knew that he was known to trade information to certain people. His phone, his contacts were important. Shizuo desperately tried to avoid any mention of him at all costs, but every once in a while, some ignorant eighteen year old would approach Shizuo, looking for a way to get to Izaya. The idiots knew they were roommates, but didn’t know how much Shizuo hated Izaya. They always learned quickly.

“How much longer?” Izaya asked. He was referring to the time. Shizuo presumed he just had both their schedules memorized. Knew when they both had to leave.

“Not too much longer. Thirty minutes,” Shizuo replied. He really didn’t want to address the situation at hand. Didn’t want to attempt to hold a decent conversation with this guy. He was just a little too curious for his own good, though. He could feel a headache preemptively set in as he considered how to ask.

“So, what’s the deal, then?” Shizuo regretted it already. “What was up with you last night?” 

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Izaya said. He threw on his best smirk. “Can’t a man just spend a night with his favourite roommate?” Shizuo snorted in response and pressed his wrist across his eyes.

“Maybe, if you hadn’t tried to get me expelled three times this semester alone. If you hadn’t tried to kill me like ten times.” Shizuo’s brain flashed images of Izaya holding a glinting silver blade, pointing it at him, holding it against his skin. Then, him sitting in an administrative board hearing. Trying to explain that no, he hadn’t raped a girl at a college party. He didn’t go to parties on the east side. He was being framed. It was all his roommate’s fault. They only barely bought it.

“Something wasn’t right last night, anyway,” Shizuo followed up. Izaya only pressed his forehead deeper into Shizuo’s collarbone. This was probably the closest thing he’d ever had to an upper hand on Izaya. He couldn’t deny everything forever. “You were way too hot. You were… sitting funny. I don’t know.”

“Sitting funny? Oh, you’ll break my heart,” came the sharp reply. Shizuo absentmindedly lowered his hand back down to the hem of Izaya’s shirt, rubbing his lower back without much thought. Almost like holding someone was an automatic reflex. Shizuo knew that Izaya had to give him something. He waited.

“Okay, fine,” Izaya started. “There was a guy. I absolutely needed a particular piece of information from him. He only talks to people he trusts, and he… only trusts people that smoke with him. Meth.” If Izaya’s face hadn’t been buried against Shizuo’s skin, he might have seen the bright red spreading across it. Shizuo immediately shifted, pushing him away from his neck. 

“Meth? You were high on meth last night?” Shizuo couldn’t hold back a vengeful chuckle. “Are you kidding me? You? You smoked meth?” He was really laughing now, and Izaya didn’t appreciate it. He was sitting up, staring daggers at the blonde man in his bed. “So that’s why you wanted me in bed with you? You were afraid you’d die and wanted me to make sure you didn’t? God, that’s rich.”

“Believe me, if I could have picked anyone else, I would have.” Izaya spat in a harsh tone. It seemed to go right over Shizuo’s head, as he was sitting up and laughing harder than Izaya had ever heard him laugh.

“Are you kidding me? This is hilarious! The guy that’s tried to kill me a hundred times trusts me to keep him alive.” Shizuo glaced in Izaya’s direction. He was shooting him a look that was a perfect mix of embarrassment and hatred. It seemed to sober him up a bit, and he flopped back onto the mattress. He reached out, tugging at Izaya’s shirt, motioning for him to lay back down. He still had a ridiculous grin on his face.

“I mean, isn’t that all you’re good for? Isn’t that what Tom uses you for?” Izaya said with a smirk. He was referring to Shizuo’s friend, Tom. He dealt weed on the side, and often trusted Shizuo as his bodyguard with his massive size and frightening strength. It was his job to keep Tom alive. And Izaya had just said it like he knew that’s where Shizuo had been last night. Shizuo’s smile disappeared instantly, replaced with an angry scowl. 

Silence filled the room after that. After a couple of seconds, sufficiently satisfied with how pissed off Shizuo was, Izaya took his invitation and laid back down on the mattress, curling into his side once again. It was more of an insult than it was comforting. Shizuo could have killed him then and there, gotten rid of the parasite that had been sucking his blood for too long, but he remembered their unspoken agreement. No violence in the room. Shizuo hated violence, anyway. He needed to redirect.

“First time?” he offered. He was hoping Izaya would take the conversation rather than continue prodding at his weak points. 

“Yeah,” he replied. “Not gonna be a second.”

“No? What if you need more information?”

“Guy’s too stupid to provide me with anything useful more than once.”

“I tried it once,” Shizuo confessed. He knew from previous experience that offering Izaya any kind of information was absolutely a bad idea, but it was the only olive branch he had available to him at the moment. He silently wished the morning would be over already. He willed his phone alarm to go off.

“Oh?” He couldn’t decide if Izaya sounded like he didn’t believe him, or that he believed him too easily. 

“At a party when I was, like eighteen. I didn’t really like it, it made me shake.” Shizuo hadn’t told anyone about this before, but if confessing embarrassing details of his past made Izaya act decently, it was worth it. At least, for now. He was sure that Izaya would use this against him somehow, but Shizuo wasn’t much for future planning. 

“Ah,” came the small reply. Something wasn’t right, again. Izaya should be saying more. Making fun of him, or something. Somehow, Shizuo knew exactly why he wasn’t saying anything.

“You liked it.” It wasn’t a question. Izaya shrugged.

The idea of Izaya getting hooked on meth put a knot in Shizuo’s stomach. Sure, he wanted him dead, and sure, meth might be a way to achieve that, but the thought of Izaya dying while he was out of his right mind was upsetting. Izaya was the smart one, he should die by being outsmarted. He was the fast one, he should die by being outrun. Choking on his own vomit wasn’t an option.

“Don’t,” Shizuo warned. 

Just then, both their phone alarms went off. Shizuo quickly tumbled out of the bed to grab his phone from the other side of the room while Izaya did the same with his own. He took a deep breath, trying to process any of what just happened. Grabbing a towel, he turned back to Izaya.

“Did we ever... trade phone numbers?” Izaya raised an eyebrow in response, scrolling on his phone. “Like, when we moved in, did we ever… okay look, you have my number, right?” They hadn’t actually ever traded numbers, but the way Izaya operated, he was sure the informant had gotten his number somehow. 

“Of course.” He hadn’t looked up from his phone, typing furiously now. 

“Look.. if you feel like doing it again just… text me. Text me instead.” Shizuo rubbed his free hand over the back of his neck. The words coming out of his mouth tasted like poison. He’d be sure to bruise the flea the next time he saw him off campus. Izaya didn’t reply before Shizuo grabbed his clothes and stormed out of the room to take a shower.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Their lives went on as normal for three more weeks. They barely saw each other. Outside of Oring Hall, they only crossed paths once. Shizuo heard Izaya’s voice, and that was all it took for him to take the pen in his hand and shoot it as hard as he could across the open commons at him. Izaya was able to easily jump out of the way. He simply laughed and sung a searing insult at Shizuo before disappearing into a building. Tom grabbed Shizuo’s wrist to keep him from giving chase all over the city. 

Inside of their room, they had gone back to ignoring each other completely. They didn’t mention what had happened. Their hate had boiled back to the top of their relationship almost immediately. They didn’t talk. They didn’t look at each other. They wanted nothing to do with each other.

Unbeknownst to Izaya, however, Shizuo was having the worst week of his life. It started with small things. It seemed like absolutely nothing could go right, like he was taking punch after punch all day, every day that week. Then, on Friday, as a culmination of everything that had gone wrong, Tom called him to bodyguard at midnight. As if Shizuo had nothing better to do on a Friday. So, he showed up at the meeting spot, and then... His stomach felt like an empty pit just thinking about what had happened. 

He slammed the door to his room open at 2am, causing Izaya to jolt awake. He just hissed disapprovingly and turned his back to the loud intruder. Shizuo noisily tossed his backpack onto his desk chair and gripped the backrest. He leaned against the chair for too long, unable to move. His throat was burning from holding back tears that he didn’t even know he had in him. He wanted to go to bed, to forget about the horrible day he’d had, but he couldn’t bring himself to move away from the chair. He allowed his eyes to flash to Izaya’s side of the room, and made a split second decision. 

“Move over,” Shizuo said, hoping that his voice wasn’t shaking. He pushed Izaya’s back gently. He didn’t even remember walking over to his bed.

“Are you kidding me?” Izaya rolled halfway over onto his back and locked eyes with Shizuo in the dark. 

“Move over,” Shizuo repeated. Izaya rolled his eyes and shooed him away. “We already did this, like a month ago.” 

“Look, I don’t put out after the first date, sorry Shizu-chan.” His sneering tone seemed to echo through the void inside of Shizuo. Shizuo reached out and placed his hand on Izaya’s shoulder, far too gently. 

“I…. had a bad day.” God, he felt like a pussy for saying it like that. It wasn’t even remotely a good enough reason for Izaya, and he knew it. He could only hope that Izaya was too tired to fight too hard. Shizuo knew that feeling. Luckily, it seemed like that was the case, because Izaya was shifting over, making room for Shizuo to join him. Either that, or he really was planning on killing him this time.

“Must have been a pretty bad day for you to be crawling to me. Kind of pathetic, really.” Shizuo shuffled into the bed and wrapped his arms around Izaya’s small frame. It felt so good to have someone so close to him, he didn’t care who. He squeezed his eyes shut and soaked in the feeling. His breathing was shaky now, and he didn’t try to hide how messed up he looked from Izaya. He couldn’t have even if he wanted to.

“So, are you gonna tell me what’s wrong with you or do I just have to lay here and let you squeeze the breath out of me while you look like you’re two seconds away from crying?” Izaya said in his trademark biting tone. If Shizuo had heard him, he didn’t show it. He just buried his face in Izaya’s hair and curled inward. Izaya tried again. “Not that I’m saying this is uncomfortable, but… you’re freaking me out.”

“Sam’s dead.” Shizuo’s confession came out of nowhere. It hung in the air like a scream, though it had only been a breathy whisper.

“Sam? Tom’s friend Sam? What’d you do, kill him?” White hot rage started filling up the empty pit in Shizuo’s stomach. Izaya always knew exactly where to poke to get the worst results. He swallowed dryly, trying to choke down his anger. They were in the room. It was a rule.

“No.” Shizuo said far too sharply. “There was… we were... “ He struggled to find the right words. They were all mixed up on his tongue like bad medicine. He tried to take a deep breath, but it came out broken and shaky. He tried again.

“I went with Tom to sell to him. We had a couple more places to go after that. After we were done, these… these guys came up behind Sam and shot him right in the head. I guess he owed them money or something. I don’t… I don’t really know,” he managed to mutter. Izaya exhaled like having to hear the story was a personal annoyance to him.

“Did you even like Sam? I thought he was kind of a loser, myself.” Izaya mumbled under his breath. He felt Shizuo’s arms tighten around him in a threatening way. Izaya decided to cut back on the hostility. “I can’t imagine seeing that, though.”

Shizuo relaxed after a moment. Neither of them had a good response, so they laid in silence. There wasn’t much more that could be said. Neither of the two men were particularly used to close contact, but it felt good. It was warm, and reassuring. They leaned into it, and despite hating each other, they found themselves tolerating each others’ company. Maybe even enjoying it. Izaya found himself almost lulled to sleep by Shizuo’s warmth and the gentle pressure of his arms as they wrapped around him.

“Izaya…?” Shizuo was whispering. Izaya never knew he could be so quiet.

“Hm?” he hummed in response.

“Would you think less of me if I... if I cried?” A pause. “Just for a couple minutes.” 

Izaya’s brain immediately pulled up a nasty response, designed to cut at his self restraint, and yet, Shizuo’s voice made him sound completely hollow. Hecouldn’t find the spine to insult him. Shizuo sounded so weak. The one thing Izaya never thought he could be was weak.

“It’s fine,” came his whispered response.

And so, Shizuo spent the dark hours of that Saturday morning crying softly into Izaya’s hair.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried really hard to make this one chapter, but I was running out of motivation, so I decided to post what I already had! Feel free to let me know your reactions and emotions, as well as where you'd like the story to go? They're absolutely gonna end up fucking.


End file.
